and, does anyone have the know-how to print off this top pic for to give to the PREMC for the cradle roll bulletin board? i cant stay online long enough to order a print via superstore photo lab.

Judah and i are still miserable with a sinus cold. One of us more miserable than the other... But who can be miserable with such a lovely baby in the house?

Judah and i continue to battle fevers, sore throats, ear aches and headaches. He also threw up today. I'm not sure where that came from. It's become a miserable week thus far due to this sinus cold. Josh, as always, remains "Mr. Immunity" I'm convinced that his immune system is indestructible because while Judah and i suffer 9 months out of every year in this country he remains healthy as the proverbial horse.

Surely the readership is tired of reading of moans and groans. Believe me when i say, i'm tired of having only moaning come to mind when i sit down to write. So let me try to dredge up some positives to combat this discouragement that lies in wait for me in this place.

1. my baby is very slowly establishing a sleeping routine. for those not my "friend" on facebook you will have missed the continuing saga of "Baby Nap War" scores. This essentially has been a tally of who (asher or i) wins out on any given nap time. Asher wins if i relent and nurse/rock/soothe him to sleep, or give up all together; I win if he goes to sleep on his own without help from me. So far i've been holding my own in this battle, but with sickness draining my energy i've started to lose some ground again. alas. But it IS a source for thankfulness since we are gaining ground in that area. Asher also tends to sleep from ca. 6:30-6:00 every night with one feeding sometime in the early morning.

2. i am VERY thankful for Mme Fanza, our half time house help, who is becoming more comfortable around our house which means she a) finds things she can do of her own initiative and b) asks to take the baby quite often.

3. It's warm and we can sit outside.

4. Josh is around enough that i can get respite and take a nap in the afternoons when i've been up all night with a sick child and a hungry one.

5. Although the internet is TERRIBLE! it will now only cost 100,000.00Ar/month rather than 200,000.00Ar. (it's hard to imagine that anything goes down in price in this place. It's akin to a miracle!)

6. our couch cushions are back on the couch and they make the couch sit-able. Wowzers!

7. i;ve had super-human levels of patience since i last wrote. effortless, in fact. i attribute this to someone(s) asking for it on my behalf (and that of my sons) at the throne of the Almighty. Thank you!

8. despite his persistent vomitting (blech) asher remains his cheerful self for the most part.

Please pray that Judah and i will recover our health quickly. Whereas i am/was VERY thankful not to have sinus trouble and ear pain en route and for the first 2 weeks of being back here, it's crummy to be ambushed with sickness again after only 2 weeks of being back. This country seems to sap my health. When i get discouraged enough to think it might not be worth it i'm reminded that this country is GREAT for my marriage and the characters of my children. Alas. Judah's fever has lasted all week - mostly at night time. His ears have gone from hurting to deaf (although he says they dont hurt anymore). I speak to him in a loud voice, with eye contact and he still asks me to repeat myself!  I;'m very thankful, although it's tiring to keep up with him, that Judah still has an abundance of energy, which means he cant be that sick!

A few of the photos finally were able to be posted, so even if you've read this blog already you may have missed the photos.

It's been a tiring day, but tolerable, as i responded to Josh when he came home today and asked how our day had been. Judah is on vacation, remember, so we had a friend over this morning for 2.5 hours to occupy him for a bit. Unfortunately he's had a fever last night and the night before (not during the day as much) and now is complaining of hurting ears. I'm hoping that he wont get the excruciating ear-aches that accompanied my sinus cold prior to departing Canada just over 2 weeks ago (has it only been that long!?!) My ears, although i'm SO thankful they were healed and not hurting while we flew from Canada and for the last two weeks we've been working at transitioning back to Mada, are becoming sore as well. I'm hoping they'll not hurt for 6+ weeks like they did last time. <sigh>

Friday was a great day with Josh at home and Judah at school. I need to mention that in case my readers start to think i have nothing but whine to write here. We enjoyed a leisurely morning (well, Josh so nicely took all the kids to school at 7:30, so his morning wasnt as leisurely) and then went into town to accomplish some errands: get money, find sugar in Jumbo Ankoandrano, since it was out of stock in Shoprite on our end of town, drop off our sadly mis-shapen and uncomfortably flat couch cushions at the furniture shop to be re-foamed, and then we enjoyed a yummy BBQ Club Bagel sandwhich and fruit-shake at the Cookie Shop, topped off with banana-nut muffin and white chocolate swirl brownie a la mode... I'll let you guess who had which of those. Then we got back to our side of town and went to pick up the two new pieces of furniture that we bought of our dear friends who are leaving Madagascar next week. They told us last week that they were leaving. Alas.
Asher and Joc at the Cookie Shop. I should add, despite the challenging days we've been having, i've gotten so many compliments on my haircut. Compliments make everything so much less crummy Moreover, that makeup i received as a gift at Christmas from my new sister is amazing! Egad! Who knew expensive makeup really was that fantastic! It's a shame, really, that now i know because how can i ever go back after this?

Those are our BBQ Club sandwhiches. Yum! and the Strawberry Fruit-Shakes. Yum-yum!!

Our internet is crappy, by the way. I may or may not be able to post this post and certainly wont be able to post my photos, looks like.

Saturday, unfortunately, was a trying day. Josh worked all day. Or rather, he flew half an hour, sat for the day and then flew half and hour again. Whoever thinks being a pilot is a glamorous job may just want to spend a few days in Josh's shoes to discover otherwise. Josh very unwisely, but most likely with great enthusiasm, spent an hour of his day on the new MAF scooter that is stored in the plane and can be used to scoot around the villages. He did this without sunscreen or a hat and therefore returned home with a red forehead, neck and arms. A real farmer tan, it is. While Josh was out trying to procure skin cancer me and the boys were learning patience. Or rather, i was learning patience and Judah and Asher were my unfortunate teachers who inevitably bear the brunt of my less than successful grasp of the lesson. <sigh>. It was a long and frustrating day that i cant remember entirely and dont really want to call back.

Sunday was, as usual, a lovely day of church - the worship a salve to my bruised soul - Raphia with many friends, and then after a semi-successful nap an evening with the missionary community saying farewell to our dear friends Jaco and Ilke Struwig, originally from South Africa. Alas. It is heartache every time we must say goodbye to friends who, necessarily, we become so close with in such a short amount of time. Jaco (pronounced Yah-koo) has been here in Madagascar ministering to the Malagasy for 15! years!! Can you even imagine?! And he isnt really much older than we are. They are moving just a short ways away to the island of Mauritius, where the missionary community will undoubtedly inundate them with visits since it's a veritable heaven what with beaches at every turn, western conveniences and restaurants, etc. They have accepted a pastoral position there. It is their house we would love to move into, but unfortunately the mission organization from whom they were renting isnt interested in giving it up (yet). I continue to hope that this is the house the LORD will bless us with in good time.
Judah reunited with friend Fanilo. They havent seen each other since October 2008! (?)

At these sorts of missionary community events i am becoming ever more conscious of the fact that we are climbing the mission community seniority ladder, as it were. Since so many veteran missionaries have already left Tana in the last few years we are automatically moved up into more 'senior' roles within the group, not that we have necessarily taken on more responsibility as a result (tsk, tsk!) I remember when we first arrived i didnt know anyone and no one knew us. Now we're the ones who have more connections and sound wiser when we speak of where to find this or that, or whom to contact for such and such. It is a harsh realization that once we've been here for, say, 10 years, we'll have said hello and good-bye to many, many families, experiencing the hear-ache that comes with that kind of lifestyle. By the end of this year there will have been 5 of our closest friends/family who will have left. It's with a big sigh of heart-fatigue that i look to new friends to begin again to build a close community with which to live out our lives here in this place.

As an interesting aside, i just completed our on-line registration for being Canadians in Madagascar this afternoon. After submitting the form i received a few hours later an email from a consular assistant asking me if i wouldnt consider becoming the new Canadian warden for the Tana district. "As our current warden for the Tana district will be departing Madagascar at the end of the Month, we will be in need of a new warden for the area. Would you be interested in the voluntary position of warden for the duration of your stay in Madagascar?" LOL. Josh said it would look great on my resume. Ha. Indeed, should i be foolish enough to accept a position purely for the sake of decorating my CV i would jump at this opportunity, but, as i wrote back to the assistant, since we're living in a country that may veer into an emergency situation again at any moment, i simply havent the time to take care of anyone other than my own little family.

Anyway, it's 8:30pm. Josh is apparently just trying to finish his level of Lego Indiana Jones (although Judah has gone to bed half hour ago already) before we end the day with an episode or two of Heroes. Tomorrow will most likely be a long day with no 4:30pm respite from Josh to look forward to. Please pray for us all, we'll definitely need it! And that our sinus cold/fevers/ear aches will heal quicker than we expect.

Judah had his end of school (before autumn 2-week break) activity day at the Club du CAR today. Apparently he and Larissa rode a horse together. I wish i could have been there to take a photo of that But i was at the Cookie Shop with my girlfriends. I DID take a photo of this.

Once we got back from our outing and picked up the kids Judah and i spent the rest of the day before Josh got home from work just hanging around the front compound area with Rhonda, the girls, and also with Tanja and Fanilo. I cajoled (not really) the girls into pushing Asher round and round the compound in the pusette while i tended the jasmine trellis. I reckon they and i were both quite pleased with that arrangement.

This 4-wheeler or 'car' is a hot item in the Villa les Pins compound. It's on loan from Dutch friends whose boy is younger than Judah and not big enough to drive it himself.

Asher's hairy legs.

Asher's big blue eyes.

Ol' brown eyes with one of the girls' bunnies that they dressed up in doll clothes and swaddled like a baby.

Rhonda and Asher. I feel like i need to start taking a lot more photos of her and her family quickly before they leave us.

Asher in the "Johnny Jump Up".

I'm still in a tizzy about the decision whether or not to move. ACK! At this point i think i'm just going to sit back and resign myself to remain where we are, unless my dream house is miraculously offered to us without any political problems involving other mission organizations. I'm trying hard not to hold my breath over it, or to pin up too many verses about God giving me the desire of my heart. But i will ask Him for it and hope for the best.

If we do end up staying, this will be our first new reno project:

I should really have had an adult stand in this picture to provide scale, because the countertop is lower than my hips, which causes backache when doing any kind of meal prep in that 1.5 meter area of counter or washing dishes (which, thankfully, i rarely do).

that ugly plywood-like green cupboard is where i store my dishes and spices. The basket on the floor is the 'pantry'.

We put that green curtain up instead of the wooden cupboard doors because it's so moist under there that it just reeked of mold. Now it's much better! but i still dont keep anything under there except pots that i rarely use.

These days:
Asher has slept much better through the night these last two nights, Praise God! (8:00-3:00; 3:30-8:00). This in turn helps me feel like i'm part of the land of the living. Woot, woot!

Josh and Judah spend their evenings playing Lego Indiana Jones on PlayStation.

Josh and i spend our after-children evening hours watching LOST the last season and now also Heroes season 3, which we finally found the last half of the episodes for from a friend.

Last night Josh, the boys, and i attended a Superbowl party. I didnt know who had won the game and, because i left early with two boys in a meltdown (the boys, not me), i still dont know who won! (but i didnt care to begin with, so it's ok ). It was interesting to be in that group of people though, who have been missionaries in Madagascar for a long time, some for 10+ years, and have had their children grow up together. It made me wonder if Judah will have any friends who he'll grow up with here or if this disturbing trend of close friends moving away will continue consistently throughout our career.

Tomorrow Josh is taking the day off because he's flying on Saturday. This week has actually been quite busy, relatively speaking. I think i overheard the plane was flying 20 hours. Judah is at school all day on Fridays. Josh and i have plans to go to the Cookie Shop for emotional therapy and also to bring in our couch cushions in to be re-foamed, which hopefully will make it comfortable to sit on. (here's hoping). It's almost impossible to find couches here with springs in the seat cushions.

We're doing better these last few days, despite the news yesterday afternoon that another set of friends is leaving Madagascar . Although the weather continues to be temperamental at best, our days are beginning to become somewhat more routine. We've a driving schedule for school, which means i don't have to be on the roads twice every day, which in turn makes life way less hectic for Asher and i. We are also beginning to learn a schedule (albeit a very loose one at this point) for Asher's sleeping and eating. I'm hoping, however, that his current every 1.5 hour feeding schedule is only due to a growth spurt, because that, in my opinion, is way too often for eating!

As things settle down i have the mindset to begin to enjoy the moments of life here that this kind of lifestyle allows: the beauty of a speckled brown egg as i peel it for lunch this afternoon, the delight of using zucchini on the grill and in my cake, the eye-candy of my "Boston Legal" cup of black pencils sitting smartly on the desk, a good evening chat and delicious dessert with good friends next door - trying to enjoy every last moment with them before they leave, and the time i can snatch from my little boys to make a special anniversary supper for my man today. Life continues to be good even despite the challenges that we are, and will continue to face.

i know i usually write a blog about all the things i appreciate about my husband on this day of the year, but i confess i'm baby-fog-brained at this point and cant think of anything apart from how much i appreciate him bringing me water to drink when i nurse the baby and how he gets Judah up at 7am and readies him for school while i slowly recuperate from a non-restful night. I know he likes to see me dressed in an apron, barefoot in the kitchen when he comes home from work, so i dressed up for the occasion. In times like these, that's love.

This morning Josh, Asher and i went house hunting with a Mr. Laurant, a realtor who was recommended to me by a friend here. House hunting in Madagascar, at least in Tana, is an experience that is difficult to describe to anyone who hasnt been here and driven into these "neighbourhoods". Unless you know exactly where you're going it's impossible to find the places that we were looking at even with directions and hand drawn maps because they are located down convoluted streets. We did see a few nice houses where i wouldnt mind living. One even had what i would call "normal" kitchen countertops! The problem, however, is that we've become so accustomed to living in our house, in a compound with other homes [which means we a) dont need to pay the salary of the guard, b)dont need to share our garden/yard with the guard and his family who invariably cook and hang out just outside the house windows] that the idea of living in a house on our own is a bit daunting. Moreover, the fact that i'm looking for other houses makes me start to love my house even more (the devil i know rather than the devil i dont) and become sad with the thought of moving from it. Alas. It's just that the mold is just too prevalent, the shade too shady, the house too big... bah. But on the other hand, the MAF houses that will soon be up for grabs, located in compounds and near the airport (as opposed to these new houses we looked at this morning) are either too small with no yard or else awkwardly set up with no space in the kitchen for a fridge and no bathtub (which readers may remember is very important for our emotional health )... argh! Anyway, so with our house contract expiring in the next few months and the opportunity for one MAF house also on a time schedule we're left with the dilemma of what to do about our living situation in the coming few months.

This is, with the exception of Josh the picture taker, the entire (sans enfants) new 2010 MAF Madagascar family together for the first time at an International Staff Meeting this past Friday. The families include: Matthew and Rhonda, who are our neighbours and are leaving towards the end of this year, Adam and Naomi Clegg (Australia) who are leaving within a few months; Patrick and Olivia Keller (Switzerland) the new pilot family who are staying for a while i presume; Bastiaan and Corina De Waal (Netherlands) our new Program Manager family; and Charity Wanjiru Mol (Kenya) who also is here for a while i suspect.

Asher sleeping on the couch. (notice the non-pink walls and my new hand-made lamp )

The boys in the bath.

this is asher's 'tummy tub'. i had my reservations on how this thing was going to work (since i bought it almost 2 years ago from a friend here in Mada). Europeans are ape about this thing, but to most of us from N.America it looks like just a pail. But, when we tried it the other day i discovered the genius of it. It's shaped at the bottom so baby can sit unaided in only a very little bit of water (we fill it about 12 cm for Asher) and since it isnt a big flat bottomed tub this means it's only like 1 litre or something AND the baby isnt half out of the water with only his back and bum in the water. Anyway. we like it and Asher likes it too.

well, patience on your end to see more photos is needed for a bit longer yet. Try to think of it as a small cultural exercise The internet has been horrible these past few days. This, combined with a serious lack of sleep thanks to Asher, has made any computer time for me nonexistent. I finally booted Josh out of our bed last night so Asher could sleep with me, which was very helpful, but Josh said the room he chose to sleep in was extra moldy and he woke with extra-itchy eyes and achy sinuses. <sigh>

This morning, however, is nice and sunny for a change. The weather has been temperamental: windy, cool, cloudy and rainy. Due to a tropical storm/depression moving over Madagascar. Note to would-be visitors: January/February are bad months for coming to visit unless you dont mind staying inside most days due to rain.

Josh just wrote his flight test yesterday and will do his base check tomorrow (Friday).

Judah is going to school now everyday. The driving to and from school, if he doesnt go with the carpool, is extremely hectic with Asher along. ...it'll take me a while to get the hang of this two-child system mostly because the parking is a nightmare and i hate to drag Asher in and out of the school in his carseat if he's sleeping. Yesterday i just locked him in the truck and went in to get Judah without him. I plan to try sending him for all day on Monday, Wednesday and Friday next week to see if that alleviates the driving stress. He definitely needs the interaction - that kid can go all day at 110% and, now that Josh is at work every day, he simply doesn't have the energy outlet around to help him stay occupied. Might as well focus that energy on learning French

Now that we're back here i'm also re-living my mother-with-infant pity party since Josh comes home with stories of how he's spent his day "hanging out" with friends and new MAF people who i also would like to get to know better. I know he's working at the hangar, but to me stuck at home with a 2 hour feed/sleep routine, a cranky and bored 4 year old and my own extreme sleep deprivation his stories make me feel as though he's just at work "playing with his friends" while i grit my teeth and try to bear it to the end of the day. Alas. This too shall pass, i know. I'm sure this reentry stress is in part due to the fact that i've been spoiled living at my mom's these past 2 months with an infant, also with Josh home every day.

Today i will attempt to go grocery shopping and also pick up Judah's school supplies, etc. at the 'far' grocery shop. Hopefully i can manage that with Asher and before Judah gets back from school.

One day at a time.

It's now 5pm. I didnt manage to post the above until now although i wrote it before 8 this morning.

We all seemed to have had a better day today, i think. This was mostly due to the fact that i wasnt exhausted due to a crummy night of sleep. Actually, i havent had time to talk to Josh about his day because he left for tennis right when he got home from work so...

I did manage to get to the grocery store and find most of the stuff i needed to get. Asher was hungry half way through the shopping, so i just took a plastic garden chair from the shelf and 'screened' myself off with my shopping cart by the emergency exit and fed him there. Perfect!

I also managed to get out to a friend's house for tea and to talk about car-pooling for school this afternoon. It was lovely to get out and be with friends again. Unfortunately, post-Canada Judah is not as nice of a guy as pre-Canada Judah, so although he does like to play with friends, he isnt as easy to leave un-supervised as he once was. Shame.

The weather has turned HOT, since i presume the tropical depression has moved on. I was sweating like crazy all day. I know most of you dont want to hear about our hot weather, so i'll spare you the details.

Xanga is only allowing me to upload one photo at a time which is a drag, to say the least. So i will post this for now and update this same entry tomorrow if the internet is working.

Departure-eve bath time.

...and tv binge.

Josh packing all our stuff. He managed to get everything right on the weight limit, the check-in lady was very impressed.

Watching movies.

 
Having a sleep in the bassinet. Air France, as usual, annoyingly harped on us the whole trip (toronto to paris and paris to tana) that every time the seat belt sign went on Asher had to be taken out of the bassinet and buckled into the child seat belt that attaches to mine, whether he's sleeping or not, whether other airlines have banned those belts as hazardous or not. ARGH!

Sleeping any which way that was comfortable... but still with a seatbelt on.
On the Paris-Tana leg we got 6 seats to ourselves, so Josh could lay somewhat horizontally to catch up on sleep. Asher also fit nicely in one.
 
First bath in Madagascar in the tummy tub.

pruning the bougainvillea with Asher. It must have been relaxing because he fell asleep while we were working.

Finally, i've slept most of the night. I reckon this has been the most difficult jetlag transition i've had since i can remember. Babies make the change more difficult, most likely

It's another soggy day. The cereal boxes are saggy with moisture. It's rather like camping with incessant rain. We've cleared out the boxes and suitcases for the most part, now there's only a smallish stack of miscellaneous stuff on the living room floor... and the grocery items that i cant find a place for since i havent any cupboards. <sigh> Last night after a pick-me-up hot tub (something i remember doing the first time around. that tub has 'magical' emotional healing qualities i reckon ) Josh and i talked about how difficult we're finding this transition this time around. How we're fighting feelings of depression in light of the family losses we're expecting in the next few months, how these departures make it difficult to imagine plugging into life to the same depth this time around. How we're going to have to work hard again to start over with deep friendships. Josh said yesterday that what he finds most frustrating is that he feels as though he's beginning all over again from scratch when we were expecting to just slip right back into life again.

Ach, i know you can hear our frustration, and i feel ridiculous that moldy shoes and walls and artwork; hideous carpet in my bedroom and no cupboards in the kitchen should make me fall apart. Perhaps it's that i can sense the inner fortitude that this term will require from us and i feel as though at least if i felt comfortable in my own home i could face it with more determination. Alas. Mais, i also know that i need to wait it out and expect great things from God in this case. A change of heart, for one. I have begun pleading for a new house though, despite my former love of my garden (now overgrown and almost unrecognizable from the love of my life i left back in March). Perhaps there is a miraculous meant-for-us home that could be a start-anew kind of place and a welcome distraction in the coming months.

Josh is suggesting Judah wait a few more days before going back to preschool. He suspects that he (Judah) is also struggling with the transition, albeit not consciously. He has been extraordinarily emotional, shy, and needy these past few days and Josh reckons he needs a few more days of transition time. He has been the quickest to readjust time-wise though, thankfully. He goes to sleep at 9ish and sleeps until 9 the next morning, and then runs and plays all day without a nap. Asher is getting better than he was the first day or so. Perhaps he's adjusting to the heat and humidity. This last night he woke only once, which is welcome to me since then i could worry only about my own sleeping.

Today will entail finally touching base with my beloved girlfriends who have already stopped by, but always when i've been asleep and, bless their hearts, they didnt disturb me. Also sorting all of our stuff we packed away prior to our departure almost a year ago and putting away the last few items we havent unpacked. We need to go shopping again and take a walk to get veggies and fruit. A walk will do us all good i suspect. Josh will pop in the office today for a wee chat.

Yesterday i was weepingly thankful to be back in our home church. A good preach, good singing, good friends. Ach, i love my church. And then a good lunch out in the Raphia garden with good friends, enjoying the time we do have with them before they leave. A lovely nap, Josh and Judah played XBox as masculine emotional therapy , and then supping with new family, discovering new things in common.

One day at a time Lord.