January 31, 2010

• Finally, i’ve slept most of the night. I reckon this has been the most difficult jetlag transition i’ve had since i can remember. Babies make the change more difficult, most likely

  It’s another soggy day. The cereal boxes are saggy with moisture. It’s rather like camping with incessant rain. We’ve cleared out the boxes and suitcases for the most part, now there’s only a smallish stack of miscellaneous stuff on the living room floor… and the grocery items that i cant find a place for since i havent any cupboards. <sigh> Last night after a pick-me-up hot tub (something i remember doing the first time around. that tub has ‘magical’ emotional healing qualities i reckon ) Josh and i talked about how difficult we’re finding this transition this time around. How we’re fighting feelings of depression in light of the family losses we’re expecting in the next few months, how these departures make it difficult to imagine plugging into life to the same depth this time around. How we’re going to have to work hard again to start over with deep friendships. Josh said yesterday that what he finds most frustrating is that he feels as though he’s beginning all over again from scratch when we were expecting to just slip right back into life again.

  Ach, i know you can hear our frustration, and i feel ridiculous that moldy shoes and walls and artwork; hideous carpet in my bedroom and no cupboards in the kitchen should make me fall apart. Perhaps it’s that i can sense the inner fortitude that this term will require from us and i feel as though at least if i felt comfortable in my own home i could face it with more determination. Alas. Mais, i also know that i need to wait it out and expect great things from God in this case. A change of heart, for one. I have begun pleading for a new house though, despite my former love of my garden (now overgrown and almost unrecognizable from the love of my life i left back in March). Perhaps there is a miraculous meant-for-us home that could be a start-anew kind of place and a welcome distraction in the coming months.

  Josh is suggesting Judah wait a few more days before going back to preschool. He suspects that he (Judah) is also struggling with the transition, albeit not consciously. He has been extraordinarily emotional, shy, and needy these past few days and Josh reckons he needs a few more days of transition time. He has been the quickest to readjust time-wise though, thankfully. He goes to sleep at 9ish and sleeps until 9 the next morning, and then runs and plays all day without a nap. Asher is getting better than he was the first day or so. Perhaps he’s adjusting to the heat and humidity. This last night he woke only once, which is welcome to me since then i could worry only about my own sleeping.

  Today will entail finally touching base with my beloved girlfriends who have already stopped by, but always when i’ve been asleep and, bless their hearts, they didnt disturb me. Also sorting all of our stuff we packed away prior to our departure almost a year ago and putting away the last few items we havent unpacked. We need to go shopping again and take a walk to get veggies and fruit. A walk will do us all good i suspect. Josh will pop in the office today for a wee chat.

  Yesterday i was weepingly thankful to be back in our home church. A good preach, good singing, good friends. Ach, i love my church. And then a good lunch out in the Raphia garden with good friends, enjoying the time we do have with them before they leave. A lovely nap, Josh and Judah played XBox as masculine emotional therapy , and then supping with new family, discovering new things in common.

  One day at a time Lord.

  • 11:46 pm
  • 2 Comments